“You can blame the parents.” Colin says definitively. “Especially when the parents suck at doing their job. Kids can’t raise themselves. Look what happens when they do.”
Always feeling like the bad kid growing up, Colin felt everything was his fault. “My father was abusive to my mother. He was always angry. She was always crying. That is all I remember of my childhood. It was constantly him screaming then her crying. Then he would keep screaming and blame everything on me and then I would be crying. Good times.”
Things got worse when they got divorced. “He told me she ran away. He said it was because of me, because I was such a bad kid. I will never forget the way he said it either. So cold and callous and with a smirk on his face, almost like he was happy that I was hurting. I died that day. How could my mother leave me with this monster? He told me she never wanted me and never really loved either of us. I remember seeing her drive by our house a lot, but I was afraid to tell my dad. Any time I mentioned her name, he would get really mad.”
“I remember the day I found the letters. I was 17 and counting the days until I graduated from high school so I could leave and move away from my dad. I was looking for weed and I stumbled across some envelopes wrapped in a paper bag in the back of his sock drawer. They were all from my mom. She didn’t leave me. I can’t tell you what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and vacant for so long and then to have your feet swept out from under you when you realize that the last 8 years were a lie.”
“I’m 47 and I have serious trust issues that I can’t seem to shake. I’ve had one failed relationship after another and I hate that I was robbed of my mother and my childhood. For what? Any parent that does this to their children — doesn’t deserve to have children in my opinion.”
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