Guys. Men. Dudes. Bros. They’re out there. Everywhere you look (unless you are in some sort of nun commune, or something I guess, in which case you wouldn’t be reading this anyway, so it doesn’t count) there are various types of males surrounding us. My business is all about breakups and moving on, so naturally we hear all about it, all the time. We thought it was time to start looking at the types of guys we come across in everyday social situations. Some we’re into, some annoy us, and some are simply there. For our first installment of “Five Types of Guys You See,” we are lookin’ at all the coffee lovers.
The Guy Awkwardly Waiting for a First Date:
Let’s face it, we all know the easiest place to meet up for a first date is at a coffee shop. So if you stop in one, especially in the evening, you’re more than likely to run into one of these. Hey, if he’s hot maybe you can pretend to be what’s-her-name and get him out of there, fast.
Hunched over with his laptop open while vigorously typing away, this dude comes across as unavailable but intriguing. You’ll see more of these in LA and NYC.
Order: More Coffee
The Studious Stud:
Most likely has his head buried in a book while occupying one of the larger, comfier chairs in the joint. And the side table. Come to think of it, he’s taking up a lot of space. Move over, buddy. I’d like to cuddle up in a comfy chair with my latte too, ya know.
Order: Espresso, on repeat
He is probably from Portland, has either a beard or handlebar mustache and is wearing a plaid button down shirt. Perhaps also a beanie. You know, the total lumbersexual look. And he only comes to these small, locally owned coffee shops. Stumpdown is his fave. And cream and sugar in his coffee? FOR SHAME! Real coffee drinkers like it black. Don’t even think you’ll catch him dead in a Starbucks.
Order: It’s Complicated
I mean I’m not saying that I once got addicted to Grande Americanos just so I could see the cute Starbucks barista with the freckles on my morning break from work every weekday or anything… ok, yes, I am saying that.
Order: My Phone Number, (Please)
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